In a courtroom

I wrote this song

As I stood among

Those for whom

A civil right is a civil wrong

It’s the same all over the globe

Judge sits in his black robe

Not for justice that they probe

The State that I once trusted

Conspired to have me busted

In a holding cell I rusted

Find someone who fits the profile

The Usual Suspects is not in style

Now millions can be on trial

“They all look the same to me.”

Anyone in the lineup could be

The next convict-to-be

I stood there frozen

Why was I chosen?

One door open – another closin’

“Make a deal.” I was told

Or it’s life without parole

But my freedom can’t be sold

If a criminal confesses

To whatever the Law professes,

We let the government oppress us

Guilty or not guilty

My life became six syllables

As I became invisible

And the State became invincible

I handed my lawyer this lyric

Told him I’m a hip hop cleric

But my moral victory is Pyrrhic

I might not be in jail if

Someone would ask the bailiff

To tell all the tales of

Men who held up a mirror

And wrote of the terror

Of society’s statistical error

Wrap, ribbon and bows

Everybody knows

Wrap, ribbon and bows

The greens, pinks, yellows

Fly like winter snows

Around the room it blows

As the Christmas tree glows

And the excitement grows

When a child knows

The present Santa chose

Was wished upon his pillows

Before his eyes would close

And soon after he rose

Now wishing is at a close

A smile quickly follows

From everyone he shows

The gift that Santa chose

This is what I suppose

Happens in Santa’s shadows

Because, “Love”, as the saying goes,

“is under wrap, ribbon and bows.”

Naked

I stand in one place and shake it

Twirl it around and snake it

Reach down, grab it and awake it

Everything’s better when I’m naked

This is for all my housewives

Happy, unhappy or otherwise

Peel a cucumber and bake it

Everything’s better when it’s naked

This is to all the girls who fake it

Take off your bra and forsake it

Find a young man and make it

Everything’s better when you’re naked

This is not a hard-and-fast rule

Like something you would learn in school

People are often mistaken

Thinking they should be naked

Maybe it’s their point-of-view

Or they’ve had joint or two

Whatever excuse they’re makin’

Think twice before they get naked

I walked in on my mom and her hubby

She was working hard on his chubby

An orgasm she’d have to fake it

Somethings you don’t want to see naked

I met a girl in an office

She wanted to take our clothes off us

We found a room to take a break in

Now her boss has seen us both naked

He wanted to try a three-way

I told him I couldn’t be gay

She opened her mouth to take it

Three’s company when you’re naked

I saw a priest and an altar boy

He was sucking on his boy toy

When bishop exclaimed, “For heaven’s sakes it

Would be better if we all got naked.”

So into the shower they gathered

The little boy was soaped up and lathered

The act wasn’t exactly sacred

The Second Coming happened when they were naked

If you adopt my philosophy,

Feel free to take the clothes off of me

But I’m tired of all this confessin

Everybody start undressin